Love, itís a huge word. Itís way more than four letters, and itís a gift to be able to look at my kid's and love them like I do. If I had to sum it up in one word, itís sacrifice. I donít know if I really want to use that word, because my children are gifts from our Lord, and itís not a sacrifice to love them. Itís not a sacrifice to have to teach them things and take care of them. Itís not a sacrifice; itís a privilege that goes by way to fast. So, if I could sum it up, that would be how I would sum up a fatherís love.
WFH: We all understand that love is a power emotion, but from your experience and perspective as a single dad raising your children, what is a father's love?
McClain: A fatherís love is many things. To me, most of all, it is unconditional. There are elements of every emotion in it. From joy and happiness; to sadness and even anger at times. My kids bring joy to my life just by being who they are. I can just look at them sometimes and become overwhelmed with joy at the fact that God chose me to be their dad. They can definitely cause me to get mad sometimes, as well. There has to be a willingness to accept the normal challenges of being a parent. There has to be a willingness to teach, encourage, and praise our children in their development. There also has to be a willingness to correct and redirect them, as well. There is an element of sadness, in that, it all goes by way too fast! So, I would have to say a fatherís love is unconditionally being available and being understanding of the needs of each child, in addition to the emotional warn, fuzzy feeling the we usually associate with love.
Musician/professional drummer, and most importantly, single dad Stacy McClain, created an experience of beauty, sacrificial love, humility and sincerity, when he took World From Here Magazine, on an amazing journey into the heart of a single father raising his two children during a recent interview. As the children played, their familiarity with hearing the repeated expression of their fatherís love for them was very obvious. Since most people are familiar with a motherís love, we decided to ask Stacy McClain to give us insight into a fatherís love.
ďEveryone has inside them a piece of good news. The good news is you donít know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is.Ē ~Anne Frank~
World From Here Magazine, would like to honor fathers all around the world with this beautiful interview for Father's Day, and say, "thank you. Your love makes a big difference, and does not go unnoticed."
WFH: This may be an unusual question, but do you feel like thereís a mother in you?
McClain: There has to be. I have to provide the sternness, the firmness of a father, and the softness of a mother. I have to approach it that way, and I choose to approach it that way. I can get angry with them sometimes, and I'll let them know, but in two seconds, while they are stewing about me being angry, Iíll turn around and say, Ďyou know I love you.í It has nothing to do with my love, and I want them to always understand that. Iím better at being a father than I am a mother; but yeah, there's a mom in me.
WFH: You mentioned sacrifice. So, what would motivate a man to sacrifice his life for his children?
McClain: I sacrifice for my childrenís benefit; itís for their protection, and for my selfishness, and there is a level of selfishness to it. These are my kids, and I donít want to be a weekend dad. I donít want to be a part-time dad, I want to be Dad, and I donít want them to ever feel like I donít want to be part of their lives.
In those situations, where thereís a division of a mother and a father; one of those parents will be looked at as one who doesnít care as much. Usually, itís the one that you donít get to spend as much time with. Thatís just a given, and itís a very unfortunate thing. Letís look at a divorced set of parents. Both love their children equally, but in the mind of a child, they canít distinguish the reality of that, and thatís one reason I never wanted to be a part-time father. I pray that as they grow, and understand a little more, and a little more, that itís not something that is a void; that they have been loved to the ninth degree, and that they donít miss a thing.
For me, there was no alternative. My children are beautiful, and they are worth it. You know Iíve loved music since I was three years old, and Iím fortunate to have traveled and enjoyed a career in music. Iíve been a selfish musician, but to be able to provide, and take good care of my children, is the best thing in the world, and I would not trade it for anything. I love being a dad. Thereís nothing more rewarding. Thereís no music performance--nothing Iíve attributed value too can equal that. I want to see them grow, discover, achieve and experience new things. I want to see them happy. I want to have the wisdom to be what they need me to be, and set the example.
WFH: What is your heartís desire as a father for your children?
McClain: Thatís easy. If my children grow up and put the Lord first (before anything else; or anyone else in their lives), that would be a desire fulfilled. I canít instill anything in them that will top that. I want them to choose --not me forcing it. Their faith will be their faith. When I pray about my children; I pray that they will be drawn to Him, and that they want to follow Him, and that they want to be obedient to Him. My desire is to see them walk in harmony, and in relationship with our Lord. Academically and professionally, well, those are a given. I want whatever makes them happy.
WFH: What has God taught you, and is teaching you through some of your life experiences, and what new perspectives, and insights have you gained?
McClain: Well, itís not about me. It has nothing to do with me. Thatís the most actuate description that I can give you. Iíve put so much emphasis on what I wanted in life, and most people do. For me, it was a means of escape, and music was the avenue that I could walk down and escape through. I wanted everything that came with being a rock star. I wanted it all, and God taught me that was beyond worthless. He taught me that nothing that I invested my heart in--none of it, would produce a lasting contentment.
God has blessed my life with my children, and I love them. He is also teaching me who He is, and that He is who He is teaching me to be. I feel that He is truly teaching me that everything I thought was important, really wasn't. The most important thing is the relationship I have with my son, and with my daughter, and with our Lord, Yeshua Messiah ha-Mashiach!
Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.